by Arthur Caplan, Ph.D.

10/2/15 The President issued an executive order extending the term of the Presidential Commission for the Study of Bioethical Issues (PCSBI) through September, 2017 https://www.whitehouse.gov/the-press-office/2015/09/30/executive-order-continuance-or-reestablishment-certain-federal-advisory

This is a very interesting announcement since the last day Barack Obama will be the President of the United States is January 20, 2017. Astute observers will note that the Commission will be advising a new President for nine months, perhaps longer. While there has been a good deal of speculation about who that next President will be, there has, sadly, been far from adequate attention paid to who the next leaders of the commission would be under a new President. This is important since it is highly likely that a new President would by January 21, 2017 latest have demitted the current incumbents and replaced them with a group congenial to the leader of the free world’s taste. So without further ado, let us speculate wildly as to who might take command of the bioethical ship of state in a new regime. Some are admittedly dead but surely an argument can be made that for persons of distinction that ought not be an obstacle to public service.

Donald Trump’s commission

Chair: Tom Brady, metrosexual, Married to Gisele Bundchen, health expert, ‘not a loser’.

Deputy: Regis Philbin

Ben Carson’s Commission

Chair: Ken Ham CEO, Founder and President of Answers in Genesis and Founder of the Creation Museum Petersburg, KYdent, CEO, and Founder

Deputy: Noah

Carly Fiorina’s Commission

Chair: Harry Houdini Master of illusion

Deputy: M Night Shayamalan expert on films based on events which could not have happened.

Ted Cruz’ Commission

Chair: Kim Davis, County Clerk, Rowan County KY

Deputy: Dale Carnegie

Rand Paul

Chair: William B Travis Texan

Deputy: Miley Cyrus Wrecking ball

Jeb Bush

Chair: Andy Griffith bland man

Deputy: Ryan Seacrest blander man

Marco Rubio

Chair: Gloria Estefan

Deputy: Norman Braman ‘too crooked for Philadelphia’

John Kasich

Chair: Urban Meyer football coach in Ohio

Deputy: Thad Matta baskeball coach in Ohio

Chris Christie

Chair: David Samson former crony

Deputy: Bon Jovi Almost Bruce Springsteen

Rick Santorum

Chair: Cardinal Gerhard Ludwig Muller

Deputy: Tomás de Torquemada

Hilary Clinton

Chair: Monica Lewinsky

Deputy: Julian Assange IT Expert

Bernie Sanders

Chair Jeremy Corbyn MP Even further left than me

Deputy: Ben and Jerry

Joe Biden

Chair: some guy from Delaware local council 81

Deputy: some female conducter Joe met on an Amtrak train who listened to him ramble on for two hours about the best restaurants in Dover and the need to add a station at Seaford.