There’s great news for those of you who would prefer to hide any expression whatsoever on your face, particularly those of you who think that a smooth brow and forehead is the calling card of youth and virility. The news? A cosmetic solution that still uses your favorite neurotoxin, botulism, to smooth things out – I know, I know, who doesn’t love the idea of botulism in their face – and that costs less, lasts longer, and has a funnier name: Reloxin.

Botox has been so expensive in its history that it was not uncommon to see “Botox Parties” in dermatologists’ offices; once the bottle is open, it doesn’t last long, and if you can get an invite to a Botox party you’re in like…um…flat?

Botox grossed on the order of $1.2 billion for its maker, Allergan, in 2007. Lots of the people who funded that run on smoothness are going to be wrinkly this year, one might reasonably assume. The wisdom of repugnance takes on a whole new meaning with that possibility, at least in the eyes of the beholders. Or, perhaps, Reloxin will save those whose notion of health includes that super smooth look that says “I’m not really thinking very much, or at least no expressing it.”

– Glenn McGee PhD