by Arthur Caplan, Ph.D.
10/2/15 The President issued an executive order extending the term of the Presidential Commission for the Study of Bioethical Issues (PCSBI) through September, 2017 https://www.whitehouse.gov/the-press-office/2015/09/30/executive-order-continuance-or-reestablishment-certain-federal-advisory
This is a very interesting announcement since the last day Barack Obama will be the President of the United States is January 20, 2017. Astute observers will note that the Commission will be advising a new President for nine months, perhaps longer. While there has been a good deal of speculation about who that next President will be, there has, sadly, been far from adequate attention paid to who the next leaders of the commission would be under a new President. This is important since it is highly likely that a new President would by January 21, 2017 latest have demitted the current incumbents and replaced them with a group congenial to the leader of the free world’s taste. So without further ado, let us speculate wildly as to who might take command of the bioethical ship of state in a new regime. Some are admittedly dead but surely an argument can be made that for persons of distinction that ought not be an obstacle to public service.
Donald Trump’s commission
Chair: Tom Brady, metrosexual, Married to Gisele Bundchen, health expert, ‘not a loser’.
Deputy: Regis Philbin
Ben Carson’s Commission
Chair: Ken Ham CEO, Founder and President of Answers in Genesis and Founder of the Creation Museum Petersburg, KYdent, CEO, and Founder
Deputy: Noah
Carly Fiorina’s Commission
Chair: Harry Houdini Master of illusion
Deputy: M Night Shayamalan expert on films based on events which could not have happened.
Ted Cruz’ Commission
Chair: Kim Davis, County Clerk, Rowan County KY
Deputy: Dale Carnegie
Rand Paul
Chair: William B Travis Texan
Deputy: Miley Cyrus Wrecking ball
Jeb Bush
Chair: Andy Griffith bland man
Deputy: Ryan Seacrest blander man
Marco Rubio
Chair: Gloria Estefan
Deputy: Norman Braman ‘too crooked for Philadelphia’
John Kasich
Chair: Urban Meyer football coach in Ohio
Deputy: Thad Matta baskeball coach in Ohio
Chris Christie
Chair: David Samson former crony
Deputy: Bon Jovi Almost Bruce Springsteen
Rick Santorum
Chair: Cardinal Gerhard Ludwig Muller
Deputy: Tomás de Torquemada
Hilary Clinton
Chair: Monica Lewinsky
Deputy: Julian Assange IT Expert
Bernie Sanders
Chair Jeremy Corbyn MP Even further left than me
Deputy: Ben and Jerry
Joe Biden
Chair: some guy from Delaware local council 81
Deputy: some female conducter Joe met on an Amtrak train who listened to him ramble on for two hours about the best restaurants in Dover and the need to add a station at Seaford.